Life Choices
Honoring our Bodies
I wanted to write about abortion yesterday, about the implications of overturning Roe vs Wade but I needed time to process, I needed to step back and be. The noise was too much, I was overwhelmed.
I wanted to write about the women in my family and in many families that had frightening, life-threatening illegal abortions before Roe vs Wade. They felt pain and unnecessary shame alone, in secret. These women had to make the agonizing decision without the support of society, and here we are again. Still, making abortion legal hasn’t released the stigma or shame of having one. In order to release these, we need to tell our stories.
I had two abortions in my early twenties. I was in committed relationships both times and they were two of the hardest decisions I’ve made. But I don’t regret them. My mom’s words still echo in my ears, “Either decision is going to be hard. Right now, you need to take time to listen to yourself, to think about your life, and make the right one.” My body yearned to have the child but I would have struggled. It wasn’t the right time. I’ve since made the decision not to give birth to a child and to use my creative energy in other ways, to give birth to other things.
How many people have been born into situations when and where they weren’t wanted? It creates and perpetuates trauma. The threat of this Supreme Court decision is traumatic in itself. And we all know this has nothing to do with caring about life or children but about controlling women’s bodies and keeping the poor poor. As soon as the children are born, the same people who fought so hard to ensure their births, turn away.
With all that we’ve been through in the past two years and all that each one of us goes through in our daily lives, what we need to do is come together. And yet, here we are with another divisive blow.
At the very least we can let go of shame.
What is your story? If you’d like to share, please do in the comments. Telling our stories changes the overarching narrative.
I’ll be writing about the way I processed my abortions over the next few days. Once the piece is done I’ll share it with you in this newsletter. In the meantime, take care of your body and yourself. And if you’d like a space to move your body and share in community, my friend and colleague Deborah Bagg is offering a free online yoga class this Friday to “hold space for our collective rage and grief given the supremes Court's ruling.” Maybe I’ll see you there.