Writing has never really been a choice for me, but a necessity. I’ve written to understand myself better, to heal, and to find words for feelings and experiences I couldn’t voice. As a child, I wrote about creatures that appeared in my dreams, creating new worlds on the page and attempting to make sense of this one. I downloaded angst as a teenager, and as I got it out of my body, I found relief and perspective. Writing has been a constant practice for as long as I remember. But when I went to my first writers’ residency in 2019, I felt like an imposter. I just landed a book deal but felt I hadn’t paid my dues. I didn’t know if could call myself a writer even though I’d been writing my entire life.
The mornings were quiet and our own. I woke and wrote at the desk in my room as the other writers around me wrote at their desks, in the living room, or outdoors, working in solidarity. It felt so good to be alone together. It kept me motivated. But I dreaded the day in the middle of the week when we were scheduled to read 1200 words of our work aloud.
I was nervous. The other writers seemed much more seasoned. I pored through my writing, worried nothing was good enough and somehow I’d be ‘found out,’ that I didn’t deserve my book deal.
But I chose my work and read. It was an early section of Awakening Artemis that needed a lot of work and instead of being exposed as a fraud, I received useful feedback. The encouraging words gave me direction for the rest of the week. And not only that, I understood myself better. I realized I had always been a writer, and that I was amongst my peers.
I’m writing from Antigua, Guatemala today after visiting a friend’s sanctuary in the heart of the city. Their beautiful boutique hotel is a departure from the wild settings I’ve chosen for my Sacred Warrior retreats but perfect for a writers’ retreat.
Inspired by my first writing retreat in 2019 and others I curated in Scotland afterward, the vision for the ‘Fire & Water’ retreat in Antigua is taking hold. The historic building and courtyard of the hotel — reserved exclusively for the event — are surrounded by stunning volcanoes which dominate the horizon around Antigua. The experience will offer quiet, uninterrupted space for committed writers of all genres with projects at any stage of development.
If you’re interested in this intimate retreat, let me know. It will be a dedicated time to recharge, connect with peers, and make headway with your craft.